


Bullseye

by iriswests



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6465733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iriswests/pseuds/iriswests
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alec Lightwood is approached by Magnus Bane as a recruitment effort for a mysterious cause, he most definitely doesn't expect the series of events that follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bullseye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laneslois](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laneslois/gifts).



> it's two thirty in the morning and i shouldn't be posting this
> 
> but this is dedicated to summer, who suggested i write malec fanfic when i told her i was in a fanfic-writing mood. she's asleep now because she's smart, i admire her
> 
> i've never read the books, so take that into consideration when reading this pls. this is all based off of their characterizations in the show, plus little tweaks for the au 
> 
> honestly the ending is lazy writing i'll admit it and i apologize in advanced. i wanted to post this before i went to bed, though, which explains why after hours and hours of working on this i couldn't just wait until tomorrow to give it the ending it deserved
> 
> but to be fair, this was supposed to be one thousand words of fluff and it turned into this giant, soul-eating monster, so maybe this IS the ending it deserves
> 
> forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes (i might also write different words that my mind sounds out, which happens often when i'm writing while sleepy), i will try to get to them as soon as possible
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY THIS BIG OL' PIECE OF WHATEVER

There’s a knock on the door that rouses Alec from his sleep. The sound of his slippers rubbing against the carpet is the only thing keeping him from falling to the floor unconscious again – he reaches the door successfully, pulls it open and greets whoever-it-is with a yawn.

That never finishes.

There’s a man before him, looking at him curiously. He’s poised in his stance and elegant in structure. Alec’s mouth stays open, whether in admiration or shock, he can’t tell you. He says nothing, and the man doesn’t offer anything, either. So they both stand, still, deferring, staring at one another with nothing but silence passing through them.

“Uhm,” Alec finally says, eloquently. “Can I help you.” It’s stilted, not phrased like a question, though not because it’s not one, but simply because Alec can’t remember how to ask one.

The man tilts his head. “Alec Lightwood?” he asks, and Alec nods, glumly. That’s his name.

The other man nods back. “Good.” And then he leaves.

Alec blinks at the spot the man just left empty, confused.

He decides he’s dreaming, and goes back to sleep.

**

The next day, Izzy is over eating his cereal and talking his ear off about something she learned in school today. Alec, ever the supportive brother, hums and nods at the appropriate places (i.e, pauses for breaths and expectant glances) and looks on at her over his cup of coffee.

“Anyway, I found this at your door,” says his sister, sliding a neatly folded envelope across the table towards Alec. Alec, still sleep muddled and therefore lacking his usual reflexes, watches it fall to the floor. Izzy either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t find this surprising.

“It was taped,” she continues, and Alec is still blinking at the envelope, now on the floor, frowning at it like it’s not only offended him, but his family’s name and honor and his future children. “Alec,” Isabelle’s voice is firm now, taut with the kind of authority that only shows up in her once in a blue moon around Alec, and it’s impossible not to look over at her and raise an eyebrow in question.

Izzy is looking at him curiously. “Who’s it from, Alec?” Her voice is sweet again, calculating, almost as if she’s talking to their little brother instead of to him, a very-adult male. Alec puts his cup of coffee down and reaches for the envelope, opens it.

There’s an orange post-it note inside of it, and on it, printed neatly in calligraphy, an address and a time.

“Mysterious,” Izzy teases, and it takes Alec a moment to realize his sister somehow made it all the way around the table to stand behind Alec, cereal bowl in hand, without him noticing. She’s chewing silently. Alec stares at her.

“I—” he looks at the envelope. Stupid. “They probably got the wrong apartment.”

“Hmm,” Izzy says noncommittally, taking another bite out of the cereal. She doesn’t offer any more insight, and Alec doesn’t ask for any.

He lets the note drop back on the table.

**

Jace is over playing video games quietly when Alec brings up the note from earlier this morning.

He pauses the game, looks over at Alec. “What?” he asks, and Alec shows him the note as further explanation. Jace looks at it, brows furrowed, then looks back up at Alec, puzzled. “You’re not actually thinking of going, right?”

Alec stay silent, thinks about the mysterious Morning Man with the elegant poise and the question of his name. He thinks about the way his jaw was cut from diamonds, probably, thinks about the way his hair lay perfectly still, the way his eyes were curious and dark. He thinks about his attire, all flourish but distinguished, and the way his head tilted in the morning light.

“Oh my God,” Jace takes Alec’s long silence as answer enough, and Alec shifts uncomfortably. Jace has always been able to read him like an open book. It’s always made communication easier, privacy harder. Annoyed, Alec throws him a look. “You’re suicidal,” Jace proclaims, turning back to the television. “You’re not going.”

“You actually can’t tell me what to do, you know,” Alec reminds him, and Jace restarts the game. Alec keeps looking at him regardless, watches his friend shrug.

“If you’re going, I’m going with you,” he tells him, and for some reason, Alec doesn’t like the idea of sharing Morning Man with anyone else.

He tries for resigned and not annoyed when he says, “I’m not going.”

Jace glances at him, grins. “It’s for the best.”

He looks so smug, Alec almost smacks him.

“Also, I’m totally the boss of you,” he adds with a wink.

Alec smacks him.

**

There’s a girl in Alec’s French History class that is pretty and serious and elegant and reminds him a lot of Morning Man. Her name is Lydia and her hair’s always pulled back tightly and her face is perfectly done and there is never a wrinkle in her clothes.

Alec thinks he’s a little in love with her, except he also knows it’s completely platonic because she’s got parts lacking and others in addenda that he’s not exactly interested in, but when she asks if he wants to partner up for their next project Alec stutters and blushes and he’s pretty sure he says yes, somewhere in the midst of his vocalized hopelessness.

Lydia looks nothing but amused. “Awesome,” she says, then hands him a piece of paper. “I can’t do tonight, but that’s my number. We’ll set up a meeting time.”

With that, she turns with all the grace in the world and leaves. Alec wonders if she intermittently irons her clothes as she walks from class to class.

“Alec Lightwood?” someone says behind him, and Alec turns and finds nothing but air. “Down here.” Alec looks down, and there.

“Yes?” he asks the classmate he’s never actually spoken to before. He’s a little alarmed when the man reaches into his backpack, almost expecting the short man to reach for a weapon and shoot him in an unseemly place, but all he does is pull out an orange post-it note.

“For you” is all he says, and once Alec stops gaping at him long enough to take the note from him, the boy turns and leaves the classroom.

Alec looks around him, finds the classroom empty. He unfolds the note in his hands.

A different address, in the same neat calligraphy. The same time.

Underneath this, it reads, “I heard the other place was compromised.” and it’s signed _M.B._

Alec crumples the note in his hand. Then immediately regrets it and smoothens it back out on his palm.

Weird. Stupid.

He looks at the clock.

Late.

**

“Hello?” The place is empty and, if Alec’s being honest, a little creepy. He’s spotted several spider-webs all hanging around here and he’s pretty sure there are bats hiding in the ceiling. “Hello?” he calls out again, trying not to think of this as an omen. Or the last place he’ll ever see in his life.

“Sorry,” says a voice behind him, and Alec turns quickly, defensively. He doesn’t relax, not even when he realizes it’s Morning Man, looking as poised and relaxed as ever, even though his expression betrays distaste. “I got the address mixed up. I don’t even know what this place _is_.”

Alec looks around them. “It was a record store, before,” he tells him, and Morning Man blinks at him.

“A record store,” he echoes. Alec says nothing.

Then Morning Man breaks out in a smile, and Alec’s heart does a thing he’s not entirely comfortable with. Or familiar with. “You’re full of surprises, Alec Lightwood.” He sounds amused.

Alec shifts his weight from one leg to the other. “What—” he stops. Annoyed, he tries to find the right words. Or any words. Whatsoever. His tongue seems to be tied, though, and not cooperating with him. “Do you—” Hmm.

Morning Man seems to take pity on him. “My name is Magnus Bane,” he says, and Alec’s lips purse. “I’m here to recruit you.”

Alec isn’t going to say that he had expected any specific words to come out of Magnus Bane’s mouth, because he’d be lying, but in the seconds leading up to this big reveal he’d certainly expected – something else. He’s not sure—

“What.”

Magnus looks around. “Can we go somewhere else?” he asks. “This place must be _infested_ with rats.”

Alec doesn’t move. Magnus looks at him expectantly.

“Yeah,” Alec hears himself saying. “Yeah, okay.”

**

The restaurant they end up in is a distracting contrast to the abandoned record store they’d just been in, and Alec still doesn’t know why he’s following this man around like a puppy. Sure, _sure_ , he’s attractive, and doesn’t seem to be actively trying to murder Alec, but he doesn’t think these two points are enough to make – he just doesn’t think this reasonable, at all, and Alec is already making list after list of excuses he can use to get out of this entire situation, because this isn’t him, this doesn’t make sense and, to Alec, everything must make sense. Absolutely everything.

Which is why when he and Magnus reach a table, he’s understandably put off by the sight of two extras already there. He dubs them Baby Carrot and Measly Mouse, even when Magnus introduces them as Clary and Simon.

Measly Mouse looks way too eager to meet him. “God, I’m just – it’s so exciting, you know?” he says, excitingly. Alec doesn’t remember sitting down, definitely doesn’t remember choosing the seat next to this guy. He leans away a little bit. Measly Mouse carries on, unperturbed. “I’ve never been out on a recruiting mission before.”

“Simon, you’re scaring him,” Baby Carrot interjects, looking amused and fond all at once. Alec thinks they must be a thing. But then Baby Carrot looks over at the waiter and Measly Mouse looks at Baby Carrot with this – this _longing_ in his expression, longing that seems to have been present for so long it’s found home in the edges of his face and it’s obviously never been quelled that he realizes no, no, they must not be a thing.

Alec looks over at Magnus. “I think I have to not be here,” he says, and Magnus looks up from his menu and at Alec, expression surprised. As if he can’t fathom why Alec wouldn’t want to hang around him and his merry band of cartoon friends, even though they quite literally haven’t explained what he’s doing here yet. So when Magnus looks surprised, Alec makes sure to look annoyed.

He thinks Magnus understands. His face clears, and he lets his menu fall gracefully back on the table. “You can leave any time you want, Alec,” he promises, and Alec wishes his leg wouldn’t twitch every time Magnus says his name. “You’re not being held hostage.”

Measly Mouse looks alarmed. “What?” His head snaps to look at Alec. “You think we’re _kidnapping_ you?”

Baby Carrot looks at Magnus. “You did tell him why he’s here, right?”

Magnus shrugs. “Not in so many words, no.”

Baby Carrot and Measly Mouse both look at Magnus in disbelief. Magnus takes a loud sip of his drink.

Alec’s left eye twitches.

Baby Carrot looks at him. “He’s—” she shakes her head, tucks her fiery orange hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry about him. Magnus likes to be cryptic.”

“Coy,” Magnus corrects, and when Alec looks at him, he’s smirking, eyes locked with his own. Alec feels his stomach fall out of him.

“Either way—”

“Can you not sip so loudly?” Measly Mouse asks of Magnus, sounding disturbed. Magnus blinks at him, completely unmoved.

“I’m sipping at a perfectly normal volume,” he replies. Measly Mouse grimaces.

“It’s just—”

Baby Carrot intervenes. “Simon, you know it’s only your—”

“I get it, it’s just—”

Alec clears his throat.

Measly Mouse and Baby Carrot finally look over at him again. Magnus continues to flip through the menu, though Alec knows for a fact he’s already been through it twice.

He looks at all three of them expectantly.

Baby Carrot smiles sheepishly. “Sorry,” she says, and Alec makes sure his expression says she’s not forgiven. “Listen, we’re not here to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do,” she tells him. Finally, the tone of her voice makes it sound like they’re getting somewhere. So even though it goes completely against everything he believes in, Alec starts to pay attention to the veggie. “We were under the impression you were coming here of your own free will.” At this, she glances accusingly at Magnus.

Magnus’s expression turns rigid, and Alec absolutely does not let himself think about how attractive that is. “I didn’t make him come,” he snaps, low and dangerous, such a contrast from what Alec’s heard from him so far that it catches him completely off guard and is also very close to rendering that statement untrue. “He chose to be here.”

Baby Carrot looks apologetic. “Well, it just seemed—”

“If you don’t mind,” Alec interjects, because he really doesn’t like seeing Magnus’s expression shut down like this. “I’d like to keep this conversation focused on what the hell I’m doing here. By my own choice,” he adds, because it seems like such a big deal to them.

Measly Mouse relaxes. Magnus’s expression clears, and it’s as if nothing happened, as if he just hadn’t turned into a dangerous, threatening person two seconds ago. His expression is flimsy and free once more, and amused when his eyes lock with Alec’s.

Alec looks away quickly at Baby Carrot. She nods in understanding.

“Right, sorry,” she clears her throat. “Anyway, we’re recruiting people for The Institute,” she explains. Alec’s brows furrow. “You’re probably wondering what the heck that is,” she smiles. “Easy. We’re a scientific research program based off the coast of New York City—”

“That’s Long Island,” Measly Mouse pipes up happily.

Baby Carrot nods. “Right, Long Island. So, we’re a scientific research program that specializes in the inbreeding—”

Alec looks on, horrified.

Baby Carrot’s eyes widen. “Oh, no, not like – I mean, the inbreeding of human _cells_ , it’s –”

“Simon calls us the Superhero Initiative.” Magnus interrupts, and Alec knows he’s looking at him, mostly because he’s felt his gaze on him this entire time and it won’t leave and Alec wants to look back so badly, but he feels like when he does he won’t look away. It’s annoying.

“We’re pretty much the coolest thing ever,” Measly Mouse nods enthusiastically. “We take what makes you good and make it _better_ ,” he pushes his glasses closer to his eyes. Alec looks at him, personally offended by this guy’s existence.

Magnus must have the patience of a saint, to deal with a rodent and a vegetable.

“This still doesn’t explain anything to me,” Alec sounds impatient, because he’s starting to lose it. Alec does not have the patience of a saint.

“It’s like,” Measly Mouse shifts in his seat, so that his entire body is now facing Alec. Alec regrets asking, really. “You’re a talented archer, right?”

Alec freezes. How—

“We’ve been watching you for a while,” Mouse carries on, like that isn’t a _compete violation of privacy_. “And you’re great. You don’t always hit the mark, but you’re always incredibly close. And then there’s – I mean, you’re smart, too, and you’re in the right headspace. I mean – by that, I mean, there’s no mental health issues, so there’s less risk for side effects, and by that, I mean—”

Alec finally looks at Magnus. “ _What do you want from me?_ ” he asks, and he’s not proud of the way his voice is trembling slightly. He still doesn’t know what’s happening.

Magnus looks at him evenly, but there’s a crease in his forehead that betrays – concern? Guilt? “We’re an illegal research program originally created to breed super soldiers,” Magnus’s voice is gentle. “It was shut down by the United States government, but they continued to work off-book, thinking the research could be groundbreaking. And it was,” Magnus’s smile is as charming as ever, but there’s a hint of bitterness to it. “We’re not soldiers. We’re normal people, picked from a list of other normal people with abilities that stand out as _above average_. They took us, and our abilities, and made them _extraordinary_.” Magnus’s hands gesture a circle with flourish, as if helping Alec picture it.

Alec blinks at him. Then looks at the rodent and the veggie. Then back at him. He’s – stupid. All of this. Stupid. “You want me to believe you guys are – what? Genetically engineered to have one ‘super’ ability because – because you were picked at random? From a list?”

Baby Carrot smiles sheepishly. “That’s what happened,” she rubs the back of her neck. “Uh, look, I know it’s—”

“We were hesitant at first, too,” Mouse speaks up. Alec keeps looking at Magnus – but mostly because Magnus keeps looking at him, and it’s getting really hard to look away. “But this place – it’s our home now. We’re a family,” Alec finally tears his eyes away from Magnus and looks at Mouse. He’s shaking his head fondly. “I never would have met a lot of the people in my life if it wasn’t for The Institute.”

“We’re not here to cause harm,” Carrot says. “And we don’t belong to The Institute, either. We’re just – existing. What did – what did Valentine call us, Magnus?”

Magnus is no longer looking at Alec. Alec misses his gaze. “Walking miracles.” His voice is even, but there’s an edge—

“Walking miracles,” Carrot repeats. “Eventually the world is going to need us. But for now, we’re just here.”

Magnus doesn’t say anything. Alec still doesn’t know what to believe. His head is hurting and his mind is working overtime and his heart is racing and this is all – it’s too much.

Not to mention the waiter has only come by once, and he doesn’t even have a drink of his own, so his mouth is incredibly dry.

“I—” he blinks at all three of them. “This is—” Impossible. Stupid. Crazy. Wrong.

“Alec,” Magnus’s voice is soft and comforting in the small space that has built around Alec, cutting off his air supply. It’s not that this is – it’s not only that it’s impossible, it’s that it’s _happening_ , it’s that it’s happening to a lot of people and they’re just walking around and nobody _knows_ about them. It’s that it’s happening without permission and it’s breaking the law and it’s that for some reason, his name is on a list of people and he was chosen to be _stalked_ and it’s that he’s being asked to join this program out of sheer luck and it’s that it’s possible his sister is on that list or Jace or Lydia or his parents or his little brother or—

“Alec,” Magnus says again. “Alec, Alec.”

Alec comes to. His vision is hazy; his breath is short. Magnus fills all of the edges of his sight. Magnus’s eyes are filled with concerned, almost feline it their concentration. “You don’t have to,” Magnus says, and Alec only now realizes that his hands are clutching Magnus’s own tightly. “Who are we to make you do something you’re not comfortable with?”

Them, nothing, Alec wants to say, referencing the veggie and the rodent. Him, though, Magnus – Alec feels like he wants to do as he says. He wants to – there’s something in him that wants to please Magnus, for as petty and pathetic as that is, he wants to impress him. But his voice isn’t coming and his breath isn’t showing and he’s completely powerless against his touch. Who are they to make him do something he’s not comfortable with? No one, he thinks. But is he entirely uncomfortable with _this_ , he asks himself, as he glances at his and Magnus’s hands clasped together.

“I need—” Alec swallows, retreats. His hands are his own again. “I need to go.”

Something flashes through Magnus’s expression, but it comes and goes so quickly Alec can’t decipher what it is. Magnus is back to looking cool and collected and slightly amused, smiling kindly at Alec. “Of course, Alec,” he pauses. “Your name – it’s short for Alexander, right?”

Alec nods, even though, what the fuck, what does that have to do with anything.

Magnus hums. “I think I’ll stick to Alexander from now on,” his eyes shine with mirth. “Suits you better.”

Alec thinks so too.

“Alexander,” Mouse tries.

Oh, no. Never mind.

“Quiet, you,” Magnus instructs, but his tone is light and playful, and Mouse instantly complies. What a pleasant parting gift.

“I—” he stumbles to his feet. “I’ll be—” he gestures uselessly to the exit, and starts to head towards it clumsily.

“Alexander,” he hears, and immediately he turns to look at Magnus. He looks curious. “This isn’t a no?” It’s an honest question – he’s not being pressured into a yes, not really, he’s truly asking. Alec hasn’t given them an answer – not a yes, but not a no, either.

Alec thinks, oh, it’s definitely a no.

But, faced with Magnus’s – well, everything, he says, “No. It’s not a no.”

Magnus’s answering smile is brilliant, and Alec counts his lucky stars his knees don’t buckle in this moment.

Face burning, he flees.

**

The next morning, he skips his classes to google The Institute.

He finds nothing. He keeps looking, though, finds a couple of fleeting comments in conspiracy pages and some private schools of the same or similar name, but nothing concrete, nothing that solidifies their existence. If Magnus and his merry band of cartoons weren’t lying yesterday, then this shouldn’t be surprising – they said they were working off-book. Nicer term for _illegally_.

Alec jumps out of his skin when he hears the door. He shuts his laptop closed with more force than necessary and sets it aside, scurries to the front of his apartment and looks through the door’s peephole. He sighs with relief at the sight of Jace and Izzy.

He opens the door, tries to look bored.

So of course, they notice something’s wrong. “Oh my goodness,” Izzy’s expression crumples in concern. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

No. “A little,” he lies, rubbing his face. “Had a heavy dinner.”

Jace and Izzy look like they don’t believe him. And, sure, Alec _is_ lying to them, but he’s still offended. Is there no trust between them?

Izzy moves past him and walks into his apartment. “I’m going to make you some tea,” she announces. Alec steps aside and lets Jace in, as well. Jace looks at him suspiciously as he walks inside. “It’ll help you sleep.”

“Okay,” he agrees, mostly because he doesn’t have the energy to argue. Izzy continues to talk nonstop about the dangers of a bad night’s sleep, and how Alec should know better at his age, and how their parents would be so angry if they knew just how much Alec wasn’t taking care of himself, when Jace pulls him aside and gives him a look.

“You went,” it’s not a question, it’s an accusatory statement, one Alec is better off not denying.

“Yeah,” his voice cracks a little, but he blames it on the lack of sleep.

Jace looks angry. “Alec, I _told_ you—”

“And I told _you_ that you can’t tell me what to do,” he whispers, glancing at Izzy’s fleeting figure in the kitchen. “Neither can she. I wanted to know what it was about.”

Jace must figure nothing bad happened, considering Alec is standing right in front of him, but he still looks annoyed. “So?” he asks. “What was it about?”

Super soldiers. Illegal scientific research. Genetically modified humans. A vegetable, a rodent and a hot, intense-looking man.

“Prank,” Alec settles on instead. “Just an old friend from high school. Wanted to get together again.” He rolls his eyes to make it seem more legitimate.

Jace looks hurt. Alec’s confused. “You’re lying to me,” he accuses. Alec thought he had a best friend in Jace, not a boyfriend.

“You don’t know that,” Alec snaps.

“I was your only friend in high school,” Jace’s arms cross over his chest. “You literally refused to talk to anyone else.”

Okay, true.

“Gah,” Alec replies, and Jace looks like he’s about to launch into a lecture when Izzy walks into the living room and interrupts them.

“I don’t know why you two think I don’t know you’re hiding something from me,” she says casually, easily. “But whatever it is, I better know by the end of the week or I’ll figure it out myself. Are we clear?”

Jace and Alec exchange a glance, then look back at Izzy. “Yes, Izzy,” they both say, resigned.

Izzy smiles. “Good,” she practically twirls back into the kitchen. “Your tea’s ready, big  brother,” she calls out, and Alec looks pleadingly at Jace.

Jace holds up a threatening finger. “You’re telling me everything when she’s gone,” he warns. “Or I swear to God—”

“Okay,” Alec knows where he’s going. He doesn’t want to hear it. “But she can’t be a part of this.” Izzy needs to stay as far away from this as possible. Izzy is far more extraordinary than Alec, by all means. One step closer to The Institute, and chance won’t save her again.

Jace nods. “Okay.”

And they leave it at that.

**

When Izzy leaves about two hours later, Jace turns to Alec as soon as the door shuts closed behind her. “Spill it, Lightwood.”

And so Alec does.

When he’s done, Jace is staring at him in disbelief.

Alec fidgets.

Finally, Jace says, “Baby Carrot and Measly Mouse?”

Alec looks at him, confused. “Yes,” he says, not understanding what Jace doesn’t understand. Jace simply continues to look at him, expectantly. It finally clicks.

“Oh,” Alec strains, only for a moment. “Clary and Simon.”

Jace nods.

That’s the thing about Jace. Jace doesn’t doubt Alec is telling the truth. Jace knows when Alec is lying to him, knows when he’s being honest. Alec doesn’t feel crazy around Jace – he feels understood. He feels like he’s not alone in this anymore. Maybe he wasn’t, before, but now someone who knows him knows this and knows more. Jace is strong. Jace can stay away from this thing, even if he knows about it. Not that Izzy isn’t strong – but she is far too curious. She’d agree in a heartbeat. She’d hear the word _special_ and _walking miracle_ and she would _want_.

Alec doesn’t want. He isn’t seduced by these promises, isn’t seduced by the idea of being extraordinary in something he loves.

Certain eyes, however, a jaw so sharp, a figure so perfectly taut and slender – yes, Alec can see himself being seduced by this, if nothing else.

Jace is the voice of reason. Jace will bring him back down to earth. Keep him grounded. Jace is going to tell Alec, at any moment, that this is crazy, that he needs to stay far, far away from all of it and that The Institute is only inviting danger and chaos into his life.

“You should do it.”

Jace is obviously a nut job, and should never be trusted to be the voice of reason in any situation. He’s mentally unstable and has lost his sense of purpose and direction. Alec makes a mental note to check him into a psych ward.

“Are you _insane_?” Alec stares at him. “This is illegal. It’s _wrong_. What they’re doing to these people – they’re promising them glory and fame and importance,” Alec’s hands are shaking. The more he thinks about it, the more disgusting it seems. “But all they are – they’re just _experiments_ , Jace,” he looks at his best friend, appalled. “A closer step to – what? A Super Soldier? World domination? I don’t know, I don’t want to know, it’s – they should be stopped.”

“You’re right,” Jace agrees, and Alec bristles. “Which is why you should do it. Alec – you can fight this from the inside.”

Jace is absolutely lost in a Bond film, Alec thinks.

“I’m not—”

“Listen to me,” Jace urges. “This is – it’s wrong, you’re right, but the minute you go to the police, what’s gonna happen? Hm? They’re gonna shut it down, they’re gonna take every single person who was experimented on into custody and suddenly they’re not gonna be people anymore, Alec,” Jace reminds him. “You’ll be subjecting them to a life as _lab rats_. You know this as well as I do.” He does. He does. “Right now, at least they have the semblance of freedom. They can keep having it. You can’t cut off one head, Alec,” Jace looks him in the eyes. “Or another one will just grow back. You have to go for the heart.”

“You watched Captain America again, didn’t you,” Alec rubs his temple. Jace grins a little.

“My alter ego,” he says, smugly, and Alec can’t stand Jace, he can’t stand him, he can’t stand the fondness he feels for the idiot. He can’t stand that even though he’s obviously clinically insane, he’s right. He’s right. He can do something about this. He can be the difference. He can end this.

“I’ll help, of course,” Jace adds, and Alec deflates. “What? Did you think I was going to just let you jump into a dangerous mission by yourself? Yeah, right,” Jace snorts. “I’m the one studying Criminal Justice, pal. And the one with the six pack.”

Alec looks down at his own tummy, offended. It’s flat, at least.

“Also the handsome one.”

“And the modest one,” Alec rolls his eyes. But he doesn’t deny his help. Because he won’t, because it feels safer with Jace. Things normally do.

Jace interprets his comment correctly and grins. “When do we start?”

**

It turns out, Alec has no idea when they start.

He doesn’t know how to contact Magnus. Or the other two, though he wouldn’t want to anyway, so that’s just as well, but Magnus, mostly. He left without asking for a phone number or a way to contact him and he hasn’t even tried to contact Alec since that night so a part of him feels a little rejected, honestly. Mostly dejected, but also rejected.

He’s stupid. Stupid. He doesn’t like feeling out of control, but that’s exactly what he feels like around Magnus.

Eventually, it happens. Three days later. Three, three. Three days later, he finds an orange post-it note taped to his apartment door. He’s a little embarrassed by the haste he uses to reach for it, open it, read it.

An address. A time.

 _If you want. **Only** if you want._ It reads. Signed, _M.B_.

He calls Jace.

**

“Oh?” Magnus’s eyebrows rise when he sees Alec and Jace approaching his table. This time, he’s alone. Alec feels a little guilty – maybe Magnus wanted to make him feel more comfortable by doing this alone this time, and Alec is the one who blindsided him this time around. Though, in the interest of fairness, this shouldn’t make Alec feel so guilty. “You’ve brought Barbie’s Ken, I see.”

Jace looks both offended and flattered. “Jace Wayland,” he introduces himself, holding out his hand. Magnus looks at it, mildly offended. He doesn’t take it. Alec doesn’t know why this makes his cheeks pink.

Jace takes his hand back, gives Alec a look, then takes a seat across from Magnus. Alec sits next to him.

Magnus is looking at Alec. “I didn’t know we were bringing toys,” Magnus says, sounding fleeting. “I would have brought my own.”

“Magnus,” Alec says, warningly, and Magnus looks mildly surprised at his tone, though not put-off. He smiles at him.

“My apologies,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. “Magnus Bane,” he introduces himself. “Pleasure to meet you, Jake.”

“Jace,” Jace corrects him.

Magnus looks puzzled. “I’m confused. Is that not what I said?”

“No, you said—”

“Drop it, Jace,” Alec pleads.

“Yes, John,” Magnus flourishes. “There are more important matters at hand, as I’m sure you know.”

Jace glances at Alec with an offended expression. Alec doesn’t know what to tell him, so he simply shrugs. Magnus isn’t wrong – there are far more pressing issues at hand. Besides, they’re about to lie about their interest in The Institute to take it down. Two very unqualified, young, over-enthused idiots, set on saving the world by destroying a hydra from the inside.

Suddenly this doesn’t seem like a reasonable idea anymore. They’re college students. They’re college students who have been playing far too much _Fallout_.

 _Abort_ , he tells Jace with his eyes.

 _Over my dead body_ , Jace replies with his own.

“How adorable,” Magnus comments, making Jace and Alec look back at him. He sounds unamused, and like he thinks ‘adorable’ actually means anything but. “The way you two can speak without words. Just darling, really.”

Alec’s face flames. Jace crosses his arms over his chest. “You were saying something about important matters at hand?” Jace is direct, posture defensive and offensive at once. He’s got a way about him that threatens everyone in a fifteen-mile radius, something Alec is incapable of, despite towering over his best friend by a good four inches.

Magnus, however, looks unperturbed. “Alexander, you must have misunderstood,” he says, completely ignoring Jace now. “The offer we made you was exclusively for you. There is no ‘bring a friend for free’ coupon.”

Alec sees his way out. He’s going to take it, but Jace’s hand settles on his arm and squeezes, as if he knows what Alec is thinking. And he probably does. Alec watches Magnus’s eyes settle on Jace’s hand on his arm, and Alec clears his throat.

“I won’t do this without Jace,” he says, blessedly sounding confident in his speech. “If The Institute wants me that badly, then they’ll have to be okay with him, too.”

Magnus hums. “And Jack, pray tell, only if you’d like, what ability makes _you_ stand out?” Magnus leans forward, and even the tilt of his head seems calculated, plotted. He sounds mocking as he continues. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your name on The Institute’s list.”

“Maybe because you keep getting it wrong,” Jace scoffs, rolling his eyes. Alec feels a smile try for control of his mouth. Magnus seems to notice, and for some reason unfathomable to Alec, this seems to egg him on further.

“We can’t simply bring someone with nothing extraordinary to show to The Institute, Alexander. You understand.”

“Jace _is_ extraordinary,” he feels defensive of his best friend, his brother, suddenly.

“Great hair doesn’t count, dear,” Magnus tells him gently, and even at this, Jace preens slightly.

“He’s a skilled combat fighter,” Alec brings up. Not a lie. Jace has always trained in martial arts, ever since they were boys. Alec trained with him, but he’s never been at Jace’s level – mostly because Jace loves it, truly. Says it’s in his blood. Alec believes him. “One of the best in the city, possibly the state.”

“Country, even,” Jace adds, modest as ever.

Magnus looks amused. “And I’m to take your word for it, just like that?”

Alec shrugs.

Magnus stares at Alec. It takes a truly Herculean effort for Alec not to look away – to keep looking at the eyes that make the palm of his hands sweat, the beat of his heart race, the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He feels uncomfortable and out of control and though he doesn’t like it, not on principle, he also, strangely, revels in it.

“And you would come back to The Institute with me now if I accept your terms?” Magnus finally asks. Alec’s heart races.

“Yes.” He says, sounding far more confident than what he feels.

Magnus looks – disappointed. Slightly. Alec doesn’t know why. He looks – he can’t place the look, but it’s not what Alec was hoping for, and it’s a little disappointing for Alec, as well. Still, Magnus manages a smile, coy and clever as ever, and he stands in a graceful manner. Everything Magnus does is a show, Alec realizes – even by simply standing, he draws attention to himself. “Very well, Alexander,” he opens his arms, almost invitingly. “I accept your terms.”

Alec can practically feel Jace vibrating with excitement beside him. He’s crazy. Crazy, crazy. Stupid. Alec should have been smarter than this – known this is just a childish wish fulfillment for Jace. In the face of danger, all Jace can see is adventure. But this isn’t – this is real, now. This is something they’ve agreed to do.

They’re going to willingly change things about themselves in order to take down an institution that is, most likely, unbreakable.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“Off we go, then,” Magnus clasps his hands together, turns on his heels. “I suppose you’ll want to come along too, Jesse.”

**

The Institute is – well.

Certainly not what Alec expected, for one. He expected more – science. A lot more – flasks, he supposes.

What he gets is a sort of sleek, technological – lounge.

There are a lot of people simply walking and talking and some are playing chess, some are eating, some are watching television. It’s a large building, and by no means is this floor the only floor, but for it to be so casual on the main floor is so – strange. Alec expected the sense of dread and evil to loom in every corner, but instead it looks like the common area of a college dorm.

“Weird,” Jace mutters to him, and Alec agrees silently.

“Alec!”

The sound of his name makes all three of them stop and turn, and Measly Mouse is bouncing excitedly towards him. Alec is sure the distaste is clear as day on his face, but Mouse either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “Oh, man, this is so cool!” He grins. “First recruit, a success! Hardly anyone gets a catch on their first try,” he explains further, without prompting. His eyes settle on Jace beside him. “…a catch and a…spare?” he asks, confused.

Jace sizes Mouse up. “You are.” He states.

“Simon,” he introduces himself, cheerful in his bemusement. “Welcome! I think.”

Jace raises an eyebrow, points at Alec. “I’m with him,” he explains, and Mouse nods.

“Makes sense. Clary and I did this together, too, so I totally get it,” he’s talking to Alec, now, and Alec can’t believe he just speaks directly to him like this.

Jace looks amused. “You and your girlfriend?”

Mouse blushes. “Uh, no,” he stammers. “Best friend. Just friends.”

Jace looks sympathetic. Alec is annoyed, so he turns to Magnus. “Are we—”

There’s a rush of wind beside Alec out of nowhere, and he turns around. Finds dead air.

“Down here,” says a familiar voice, irritated, this time. Alec looks down.

Ah, there. Once more.

“You’re—”

“In your French History class,” he finishes for Alec. Though small, the man fills out his shirt nicely, eyes are dark and calculating, and his voice is honey-dipped and slightly sadistic. Alec appreciates him. “Welcome to the club.” He doesn’t know if he’s being sincere or not, but Alec likes him, anyway.

“This is Raphael,” Mouse says, a sort of reluctant fondness overtaking his voice. “He moves fast.”

Raphael looks at Mouse, annoyed. Oh, yes. Alec definitely likes him. “You and I were in the middle of a conversation.”

Mouse blushes. “Right, sorry,” he scratches the back of his neck. “Okay, so, see you two later, yeah?” he grins. “Glad to see you decided to join us!” Before he leaves, he turns to Magnus. “Ah, they’re—” he pauses. “They _did_ —”

“Yes,” Magnus replies, meeting Mouse’s gaze evenly. “They did.”

Mouse sags in relief. “Okay, good. See you later!” he waves, and Raphael nods, and though Alec now knows Raphael could beat Mouse to whatever place they are headed to, Raphael falls into step beside Mouse, who starts talking his ear off – quietly. Raphael listens, and looks as if he’s pondering, and they’re standing close together, but not touching, like their dynamic is one of reluctant alliance.

“I suggest not trying to figure them out,” Magnus interrupts his thoughts. Both he and Jace look at him, though Magnus is only looking at Alec. “Even I don’t understand them, and I pretend to know most things.”

**

When they finish the tour of The Institute, Alec feels a little sick.

Everything here – even the casual lounge – is just – it’s an experiment. They’re being watched at all times. Magnus makes sure to let them know – though they are free to come and go when they please, they do have study sessions, and they do have to spend at least an hour daily at The Institute, outside of their one-on-one meetings.

They’re experiments, at the end of the day. Perhaps they’re not holed up like lab rats, but it’s what they are.

Jace hides it better than Alec, but he’s known his friend long enough he, too, is disturbed by this place. Though for him, it’s probably served as more fuel to take this place down, straight through the heart, because this – this is –

It’s inhumane.

Alec knows the sentiment is clear on his face.

And yet Magnus does nothing to reassure him.

**

“You’ll most likely meet Valentine tomorrow,” Magnus says, as they walk back inside the lounge. “That is when your trial will start running.”

“Trial?” Alec questions. Magnus nods.

“You’ll show off your skills,” Magnus looks over at Jace. “Your friend will most likely combat against other skilled fighters, you will throw some arrows around, I suppose.”

“But I thought you already knew the level of our skill set,” Alec blinks.

Magnus smiles, though it holds no warmth. “It’s only to know what your dosage should be,” he explains. “I hope you two aren’t squeamish. You’ll be getting acquainted with your fair share of needles.”

Jace makes a face. “I hate needles.”

Magnus looks at Jace, as though his presence is bothersome. “And the Prince has a weakness, I see,” his voice drips sarcasm. He bows exaggeratedly. “Forgive me for bringing it to light, Your Highness.”

Jace’s fists clench. “Listen, man, I don’t know what your problem is—”

Magnus looks genuinely surprised, though Alec doesn’t know if that counts for much anymore. “I have no problem whatsoever, Joe,” he holds a hand to his heart, as if offended. “I thought this is the way you liked to be addressed.”

Before Jace blows a fuse, Alec intervenes. “We’re allowed to go home and rest, right?” he asks. “Come back tomorrow morning to meet this Valentine fellow?”

A shadow passes over Magnus’s expression. As always, it comes and goes quickly. “Sure, sure,” Magnus waves Alec off. “Do as your heart desires, Alexander.”

Alec looks at Jace, and hesitates for a moment. “Do you think—”

Jace grunts something like assent, and leaves Alec to it. Magnus frowns as Jace walks towards Mouse, of all people, and then turns to look at Alec. “Did you ask him to do that?”

Alec nods.

“In so many words?” he asks once more. Alec nods again.

Magnus stares at him. “You have an extraordinary connection with your beloved, I see,” he says softly. Alec chokes on air.

He’s laughing a little hysterically when he says, “Not beloved. Not beloved. Brother. Adopted.”

Magnus looks only a little surprised. “Nevertheless, you – the love you two share. It might—” he pauses, then shakes his head. “Never mind. Nothing to worry about, I suppose. Just speculation.”

Alec wants to ask, but he also thinks he doesn’t want to know.

He shuffles his feet for a moment. “Magnus,” he calls to him slowly. Magnus looks at him, tilts his head curiously. “Do you—” He clears his throat. Glances at Jace, talking to Mouse, then looks back at Magnus. “Were you scared?” he asks. “When you had to – with the needles,” he finishes lamely.

Magnus’s expression softens. It’s that expression that Alec has so far only seen directed at him, the one that makes his knees want to buckle and his heart want to race straight out of his chest and his fingers twitch with anticipation. “You don’t have to do this, Alexander,” he says. It’s almost like he’s urging Alec, in a way. He steps closer to him, and suddenly Alec feels like he can’t breathe. “No one will think any less of you if you walk away now.”

Alec’s trying to figure out the underlying meaning in whatever Magnus is saying, but – but he’s too busy trying to figure out how to breathe with Magnus this close. He smells of tulips and peppermint, and he smells of spring and fall and all good things. Alec wishes, irrationally, insanely, to taste him.

He steps back, embarrassed by his own thoughts. “I won’t,” he says. “I won’t, I—” he looks at Magnus. “But you’ll be here?”

Magnus looks at Alec for such a long time, Alec almost thinks he forgot he was asked a question.

He finally replies, however, head bowing slightly. “If you want me to be,” it’s quiet, his voice. “I will be. For you – I will be here.”

Alec feels like he’s promising a lot more than he’s letting on, but all he can focus is on the quelling of his whirling stomach and the steadiness of his racing heart.

“Thank you,” Alec says, for lack of anything better to say.

Magnus smiles at him, and it’s almost rueful. “Don’t thank me yet,” he says, a little bitterly.

**

And so, a week passes by. Alec and Jace meet Valentine. He is an older man, a scary-looking man, who, were Alec and Jace anyone else, would fool them into thinking he is kind and understanding. They’re not, however, and Alec and Jace have met enough condescending adults in their life to know one when they see one, and they know Valentine is not kind, nor is he understanding. He is evil, he is disgusting, and for every compliment he dishes out, there are ten insults hidden in between the line.

He is up to no good, and maybe this is why they don’t leave, despite whatever they’re being injected with being painful.

By the end of the week, they are both exhausted. They’re lounging around, half-asleep, on Alec’s couch, not really watching whatever show is on television at the moment, when the loud sound of an opening door startles them both to alertness.

It’s Izzy, and she looks angry.

“Okay,” she says. “I told you if you didn’t tell me what you were up to by now, I’d figure it out myself.”

Alec’s stomach falls.

“What the hell is The Institute, and why do you two keep going to that building every day?” she demands.

Alec should have known Izzy wasn’t fooling around. His sister is smart – his sister is a tracker. She’s intelligent as she is beautiful, and Alec is angry for underestimating her, even for a moment.

“Izzy—”

She holds up a hand. Alec stops. Jace, the coward that he is, is sinking further into the couch, saying nothing.

“Tell me the truth,” she warns. “Or I won’t speak to you ever again, Alec. You, either, Jace,” she snaps, not letting their adoptive brother forget he is a part of this too, something for which Alec is grateful. He’ll take the victories where he can find them.

Alec and Jace exchange glances.

And so, against both of their better judgments – they tell her everything.

**

“And who is this?” Magnus asks as Alec approaches him, both Jace and Izzy in tow. Izzy is taking the lounge in, mesmerized, but guarded, the way Jace and Alec told her to. His sister is an actress, above all – out of all three of them, all of her skill sets make her the best spy. In fact, Alec isn’t sure which ability whatever juice they’re injecting them with would magnify. All of them, perhaps.

“My sister,” Alec looks at Magnus, pleadingly. _Tell her to run_ , he begs with his eyes. _Tell her to go._

Something dark settles on Magnus’s expression. Alec doesn’t know what it is – resentment, perhaps, or regret.

“And you’re here for the family discount, I presume,” Magnus jokes, though the darkness does not leave his eyes. It seems Alec is the only one that notices, however, because Izzy is charmed by the quip.

“If you’re offering,” she purrs.

“It’s not my place,” Magnus replies, but he is looking straight at Alec, and it feels like the words are for him. “I cannot offer such things.”

Alec stares at him, still pleading. The darkness doesn’t leave Magnus’s eyes.

“You came here of your own free will?” he asks, finally looking at Isabelle.

Izzy nods. “I’m interested to know what they can do with me,” she says sweetly. It’s scripted, but it sounds natural, curious.

Magnus looks back at Alec. “Then I can’t stop you,” he says quietly. Alec feels the earth shatter.

Magnus can’t help him. Or won’t. Alec doesn’t know. He thought – maybe he’s been foolish, to think that they’ve been bonding, growing closer this past week, maybe he’s been stupid in thinking – believing – he’s a little ashamed, really, that he let a small flicker of hope grow so large it brightened an entire room. He’s ashamed. Stupid.

He avoids Magnus’s gaze, clears his throat. “Valentine is busy at the moment,” he explains, knowing everyone’s meeting schedules by heart now. “But in his first available break, I’ll take you to him.” Alec’s smile at Izzy is tight. Her answering one is reassuring. _It’s okay, big brother_ , it says. _I know what I’m doing._

And yet, the protectiveness in Alec refuses to fade. Old habits die hard, he supposes.

**

Alec is hitting his every intended target in the practice room when Magnus finds him.

“Alexander,” he says quietly. Alec doesn’t turn. Instead, he aims at a small ink stain on the opposite side of the wall. Shoots. Bullseye.

“Magnus,” he greets, and he knows his voice is cold. His entire demeanor is cold. Magnus could have helped him save Izzy. Instead, he let her do as she pleased. And logically, he knows Izzy would have done as she pleased anyway, but it still doesn’t stop him from being bitter. He could have tried. He could have tried.

His hands are shaking in anger, and yet when he shoots for another target, he doesn’t miss it again. He’s incapable of it. _Apollo_ , Valentine had called him, feigning affection. Alec had wanted to turn and shoot his arrow straight through the man’s heart.

Magnus is quiet for a long time, though Alec feels his presence behind him like an elephant’s. He’s impossible to ignore, and his breath comes short and ragged and his heart feels strained and tiny. “Did you need something?” Alec asks through clenched teeth.

There is a pause. “I wonder,” Magnus finally speaks. “Why is it that you haven’t asked me what my ability is?”

Alec pauses. He doesn’t know, really. He thought maybe Magnus was just a recruiter. Just here as one of Valentine’s pawns. But he’s also thought that to be wrong, because Valentine exudes cruelty, evil. Magnus, anything but – though exuberant and calculating, his heart is pure, it’s good, his expression one of sympathy and protectiveness. He’ll look at Carrot and Mouse like they’re his own children, will sometimes look at Alec like—

He doesn’t think about it.

Magnus is _good_ , and Alec knows this. Deep in his heart. He is good. A good man, caught up in something bad.

“I figure you’ll tell me when you’re ready,” he decides to say. The partial truth.

Magnus doesn’t say anything for a moment. “You’re right,” he says. “I prefer not to disclose my ability so quickly. I have seen it draw many friends and loved ones away from me,” he explains. Alec finally chances a glance at Magnus. Magnus, as per usual, is gazing intensely at Alec. Alec flushes – blames it on the strain of his practice. “I do not wish to say it has done the same for you.”

Alec’s a little offended. “I wouldn’t,” he declares. _I couldn’t_ , he doesn’t say.

Magnus’s smile is small, sheepish. “Maybe not,” he agrees. “But I’d rather not risk it just yet.”

Alec stops to think about this. “Does this mean you consider us – friends?” Alec asks, a little shyly. He looks back at one of the targets on the other side of the wall. Shoots. Bullseye.

He hears Magnus’s chuckle. “I do,” he says, and sounds sincere. “And as your friend,” Alec feels Magnus voice, more than hears it, and he realizes he’s because his breath is so near his left cheek – he can feel the heat of Magnus’s chest against his back. “I implore you to understand I have a reason to not turn away your sister.”

So Magnus _had_ understood.

“I – I don’t—” Alec is trying to think. But all he thinks about is the way Magnus’s breath feels on his skin, the way his skin would feel on his own. His heart is racing and is very, very close to stopping altogether, he is sure of it. He is going to die, like this.

He can think of worse ways to go, he supposes.

“And as your friend,” Magnus repeats, hand landing softly on Alec’s raised arm, the one pulling back the string of his bow. “I also beg you to stop whatever it is you’re doing. You won’t defeat Valentine, Alec,” he sounds urgent now. “Please don’t place yourself in more danger.”

Alec freezes.

Magnus knows. Magnus knows about everything.

Alec steps away from him, because he needs to think, and he can’t think with Magnus so close to him, it’s unfair, it’s an unfair advantage, it’s not—

He shoots another target. Bullseye.

And another. Shoots. Bullseye.

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Alec snaps. Something about that statement rouses something in Magnus, something dark. He steps in front of Alec before he can shoot the next target.

Alec meets Magnus’s gaze evenly.

Magnus shakes his head slowly. “You’re right,” he says. “I can’t. But I can ask you to take care of yourself, can’t I?” he looks up at Alec, and Alec is helpless in this moment. “And I can offer my help, if you’re so insistent on doing this.”

Alec stares at Magnus. “You’d—” he pauses. “But I thought you were loyal to The Institute.”

Magnus’s expression darkens. “Hardly,” he says, tone aggressive. “I’m only still here because if I go – if I go, there will be no one else who realizes—” he pauses. “I have watched so many souls come and go from this place with nothing but pain and grief to show for it, Alexander,” he says softly. “Valentine used to recruit people of weak minds, people who were – expendable.”

Blinking, Alec swallows at the implication. Mouse had said something about that, a while back – about his mental health.

Magnus continues to look at him. “It is only until I showed interest in recruiting as well that I managed to – to make him believe he needed stronger individuals. That eventually, he’d have his own personal army.” He swallows and looks away, as if disgusted with himself. But Alec understands. He understands. He did what he had to do to save lives. “He agreed. And that is The Institute you see now, before you,” Magnus gestures aimlessly around him. “That is why these kids, they are filled with hope. With falsities. He says, _you are special_. He says, _one day the world will need you_.”

He pauses, looking far, far older than he is. There is a weight on his shoulders, evident now as it’s never been before. His eyes are no longer focused on Alec’s. “And a lot of these kids – they need to hear that, Alexander,” he swallows. “And they believe him. And they are loyal to him. And me, I’m only here – I’m only here to make sure he doesn’t kill them. That he doesn’t completely take apart what keeps them human.”

Alec pauses, feeling nauseous. Turns away from Magnus. Shoots. Bullseye. “And you?” he asks, not looking at Magnus. Shoots. Bullseye. “Who looks after you?”

There is a breathless chuckle. “I don’t need looking after, Alexander.” He says, sounding sincere. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”

Alec shoots again. Bullseye.

He looks at Magnus. Finally, finally, he is bold enough to be the one to steps closer to Magnus this time. He looks at him, and looks at him, and looks at him.

“You don’t have to anymore,” he promises.

Magnus regards him for a moment, mildly amused, before offering the rarest, sincerest smile he’s managed to receive from Magnus Bane.

Alec’s heart flips, shoots.

Bullseye.

**

Something’s changed, between Alec and Jace.

For the better, that is. They’ve always been close – have always managed to read each other’s mind as easily as words on paper. But ever since they started taking their doses, it’s almost like they’re having full-blown conversations without words. When they’re near each other, they work faster, stronger, better.

When Valentine notices this one day, during a practice session, he regards them curiously. Then he grins, as if he’s struck gold, or oil.

“Blood brothers,” he says. “We have successfully made blood brothers.”

Alec and Jace exchange a glance.

“You two – your cells, your dosage. Your bond, far more spiritual than I can ever begin to explain! Oh, you two, you will bring me glory! Fame! The world will love you. The world will see you, and the world will yell, _Blood Brothers_. The world will look to you as their saviors. You will be compared to Gods. Zeus and Hades,” he points at Jace and Alec, respectively. “Blood brothers. Blood brothers.”

When he leaves, laughing gleefully, manically, Jace turns to Alec. “At least we know two things for sure,” he says. Alec looks at him expectantly.

“He’s completely insane, for one,” he nods towards the exit door. Then looks over at Alec and offers him a smug grin. “But that doesn’t take away his taste.” He gestures to himself. “Zeus.” He says, matter-of-factly.

Alec sighs. He doesn’t know what he expected.

**

They’re supposed to be infiltrating this place. Magnus even offered to help.

But even so, it feels like family, now. When they’re not around Valentine or one of his more dedicated minions, it’s almost like they’re hanging out at a bar, like they’re starting to form the sort of bond Alec’s only ever seen in films. Only ever felt with Jace, with Izzy.

He sees it, now. The appeal. Why Magnus stays.

He’s sitting on the far end of one of the couches, alone, only half-listening to Jace and Baby Carrot bicker (they’ve been doing that a lot – Alec calls it annoying, Izzy calls it unresolved sexual tension, and Mouse always looks lost in more ways than one) about something or the other, when he feels Magnus settle on the couch beside him. Alec is proud of himself for not completely stiffening; he remains relaxed. Magnus reaches over and plays with a loose string at the hem of Alec’s sweatshirt.

He’s pretty sure he’s flushed, but can maybe get away with blaming the fact that he’s wearing a sweatshirt indoors for it. But he knows. Knows it has nothing to do with the temperature in here.

Has a lot to do with a certain someone beside him, though.

“Do you think it’ll take Justin and Clary long to hook up?” he asks, curiously looking over at Jace and Baby Carrot, still bickering animatedly. Mouse sits beside Carrot, lips in a thin line as he watches the exchange, carelessly playing with Raphael’s hair – since he’s sprawled across the rest of the couch, head lazily resting on Mouse’s lap. His eyes are closed – he is disinterested in everything happening around him, as per usual. 

Alec grimaces. “I want to think Jace has better taste than that,” he says, distastefully, as it were.

Magnus frowns at Alec, but, as usual, there is an underlying amusement to his expression. “Jeremy would be lucky to have someone like Clary in both his life and in his bed,” he sniffs, pulling further at the loose string. It starts trailing up the sweatshirt, and Alec thinks it’s almost like Magnus’s hand is trailing upwards.

He glances over to the loveseat, where Izzy and Meliorn, another addition to The Institute, are leaning far too close together, too close for comfort. Alec is a little disturbed by it. He doesn’t like to think of his siblings in sexual situations. He looks over at Magnus, and now he is thinking of Magnus in sexual situations.

His blush deepens, he feels it.

Magnus grins. “Embarrassed?” he asks, and oh, God, Alec thinks, _he knows_.

The other waves him off. “We won’t talk about your brother’s sex life any longer, then,” he says, and Alec breathes a sigh of relief – but he wagers Magnus thinks it’s for a different reason.

This place – this place. It’s getting to them. To all of them. The longer they stay here, the longer they let it get to them, the less time they’ll have to cut straight through the heart.

Even now, he’s half-thinking about the closeness of Magnus, rather than thinking of what he could be doing to stop this. He enjoys this dynamic, perhaps, but he’d rather enjoy it in a less toxic environment.

So he turns to Magnus, and oh, he doesn’t expect for him to be so close. He clears his throat. “Magnus,” his voice is low, intimate, so no one can hear what they’re saying.

Magnus eyes cloud over with something unfamiliar to Alec. “Yes?” he breathes, and Alec’s brain short-circuits.

He’s staring at Magnus’s lips. He has to say something important. Something important. Something – soft-looking, and pink, and inviting. Magnus wets his lips, and Alec is going insane, he’s going insane, this must be how Valentine feels every day of his life, just, a complete lunatic for a man.

Alec, driven to madness because of a man. How pathetic.

Mouse coughs loudly, and it breaks Alec from his reverie. Everyone around him ignores him, save for Alec and Magnus, who are startled, and look over at him. He’s blushing furiously and pointedly not looking at the both of them, but instead staring at Raphael, and Alec blushes just as furiously.

Right. Mouse’s ability – his hearing. It’s inhuman. Alec coughs and shifts, embarrassed.

Magnus looks annoyed. “Elsewhere, then,” he announces, standing from the couch. He holds a hand out to Alec, raises an eyebrow. “Shall we?”

Alec stares at his hand. He hesitates for a moment before he takes it, only to stand, then takes his hand back. He nods. “Lead the way.”

**

Magnus leads and leads and leads, until they’re in a room Alec’s never seen before.

He frowns. “What—”

He doesn’t have a chance to ask the question, because suddenly Magnus is pinning him to the wall and his mind is completely and carefully blank and when Magnus pulls him downward, so that his breath is on Alec’s lips when he whispers, “kiss me”, he feels a shiver run down his spine and the rest of him and Alec does, he does. He’s mad, completely mad, because this isn’t why he wanted Magnus’s attention, but he’s going to take it anyway.

He kisses Magnus. And he kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him. They kiss in a way Alec has never kissed anyone before (note: he has, in fact, never kissed someone before), he feels the kiss in his toes and the hairs on his back and he feels his nails dig into Magnus’s skin and Magnus’s hand cups the back of his neck and they’re clawing at each other, eventually, like animals deprived of water, and Alec tries and tries to get closer to Magnus but this is as far as he can go and damn it, damn it—

Somehow, Alec manages to flip them over and now Magnus is pinned to the wall, and Alec’s lips find their way to Magnus’s jaw, and then to his neck, and his hands have found their way under his shirt and Magnus is breathing heavily and raggedly and he’s whispering Alec’s name over and over and over, like a prayer, and Alec thinks he can hear Magnus whisper his name for the rest of eternity and he’ll die a happy man. And Magnus says “kiss me” again and Alec would give this man anything, anything, and so he comes back up and presses his lips to Magnus’s once more and kisses him, kisses him.

And suddenly, he’s empty.

In a moment, in a flash, Magnus’s lips are gone from his and Alec’s being pushed far away, and when Alec looks up, puzzled at the sudden change in atmosphere, Magnus looks horrified. No, no, worse – he looks _disgusted_.

Something in Alec breaks.

“M-Magnus?” he tries tentatively.

Magnus shakes his head furiously.

“No,” he spits, turns around. “Jesus Christ. Go.”

Alec is confused, hurt, brokenhearted. “Magnus—” he pleads, because he wants to understand, what did he do _wrong_ , did he not want this, but it seemed like he wanted it, and Alec had wanted it so badly he could feel it in his _bones_ —

“ _Go_ , **_now_** ,” Magnus orders, and Alec has no choice but to obey. He leaves the room at once, in a hurry, pathetic and shamed tears clouding at his eyes, and he doesn’t even remember where he’s going, he’s just going and going and going—

He bumps into a solid body. Alec only realizes when two strong hands hold him steady that he’s been shaking.

He looks up, and his blood runs colder.

Valentine looks back at him, with fake concern lining the corner of his eyes. “My dear, dear Apollo,” he coos. “What’s wrong?”

Alec doesn’t answer. He’s paralyzed. Confused. Doesn’t know—

“Let me take care of you,” he whispers.

And Alec is powerless.

**

When he comes to, the world is bright.

He doesn’t know where he is, but knows that there are needles all over him, and he is strapped to a gurney and he is—

Valentine is standing over him, smiling cruelly.

“You’re finally awake,” he says. Alec’s not sure if he’s dreaming or not. He’s not sure what’s happening. He remembers – Magnus, and the taste of peppermint, and the desire in his bones, and his heart being full—

He remembers being sent away harshly, being told to go, go, go, and then he remembers running into Valentine and—

His hands. They’d touched his arms. There’d been a prickle of _something_.

A tranquilizer.

Valentine had been actively looking for Alec. And Alec had quite literally stumbled right into his arms.

Alec is furious. At himself, at Valentine. “What are you doing to me?” he asks, shaking in anger. Valentine shushes him, runs a hand through his hair. It’s disgusting, it shames him. And so Alec spits at him in defiance, and Valentine laughs, as if he finds him amusing instead of dangerous. And Alec supposes, with the way things are looking, that he understands.

“What are you doing to me?” he demands once more, and Valentine rolls his eyes.

“ _Relax_ ,” he says, in a voice so menacing Alec can’t feel his breath. “I’m not going to harm you. I’m simply running some more extensive tests.”

“I didn’t agree to these,” Alec struggles against his restraints to no avail. “You can’t hold me here. _I didn’t agree to these_.”

“Yes,” Valentine replies dryly. “Hence the restraints.”

Alec yells for help. Closes his eyes. Thinks of Jace. _Jace, Jace, Jace_.

“Oh, stop being so dramatic, young Apollo,” Valentine rolls his eyes. “These are harmless. I promise you, they’ll do you no permanent damage.”

“Fuck you,” Alec spits once more. This isn’t fair, this isn’t fair, he was supposed to strike the heart and instead, instead—

“You won’t remember this, anyway,” Valentine flicks at one of the needles. “Go back to sleep, Apollo,” he sings, as he brings the needle down to Alec’s arm.

 _Remember_ , he pleads to himself. _Jace, please, remember_.

And then, inexplicably, before he falls under, he thinks, _Magnus_.

**

When he comes to, the world is bright.

And there is fire in the eyes he meets first.

“Magnus?” he recognizes, before he hears him, before he sees anything other than his eyes.

There is relief in his expression. “Alexander,” he breathes, and he’s taken into Magnus’s arms. He’s weak, and confused, and isn’t sure why Magnus is holding him so tightly. He feels like he can’t breathe, but he’s become used to that around Magnus, he’s realized.

He remembers—

Jace is standing behind Magnus, rigid, looking angry, too. There is relief, hidden somewhere, but mostly anger. He is looking at Alec, and then he is looking at Magnus. Beside Jace is Izzy, looking solemn, worried. And in the midst of this, Alec is still being held in Magnus’s arms.

He remembers—

“You kissed me,” Alec realizes, and Magnus freezes. Alec frowns. “Then you—” he pulls back, as if stung. “You told me to go.”

Magnus looks stricken and guilty, and as if he doesn’t know which one to address first. “Alexander—”

“Maybe save this for later?” Jace snaps, but he’s snapping at Magnus. He’s livid, Alec realizes. Can almost feel it himself. Not his own emotion, it’s foreign, it’s Jace’s. But it’s in Alec’s stomach, boiling Alec’s blood.

Magnus glances sharply at Jace. “I will answer anything Alexander wants me to, when he wants me to,” he snaps, and Jace scoffs in disbelief.

“Maybe if you hadn’t let him go—”

“How was I to _know_ —”

“Shut up, the both of you,” It’s Izzy who snaps, and they both obey her. She’s glaring at them, a fire Alec’s learned to become familiar with in her eyes. Even he’s at her mercy now. “Jace, a word,” she says through clenched teeth. Jace makes an offended sound. The expression on Izzy’s face says, clearly, that she will hear no arguments.

Jace glances at Alec. _I’ll be back_ , he says, and Alec nods in acknowledgment. He storms out of the room.

Before Izzy follows, she scurries to Alec and envelops him in a hug. Izzy, he hugs back. Izzy is safe. He’s confused and he’s disoriented, but his baby sister is safe. “I love you,” Alec murmurs, for lack of any comforting words.

Izzy makes a noise. “I love you, too,” she promises. She leans back, looks at Magnus. She looks – angry, a little, mostly disappointed. “You’ll tell him everything?” she asks, and Magnus bows his head.

“You have my word, Isabelle,” he promises.

Alec is even more confused now.

Izzy walks out of the room, closes the door quietly behind her.

And Alec turns immediately to Magnus.

“How—”

Magnus holds up a placating hand. “Alexander,” he speaks Alec’s name softly. Like a prayer. The way he did when—

Alec blushes furiously.

“Some time ago, I told you I wouldn’t tell you my ability until I saw fit to,” he tells him. Alec remembers. Every interaction he’s ever had with Magnus is etched onto his brain, printed into stone. Can’t be erased. Won’t let it be. So he simply nods, to show acknowledgment. Magnus looks down at his own hands. Alec has never seen him look so—small.

“I can—” he takes a deep breath. Looks up at meets Alec’s eyes. “I have the ability to make people bend at my will,” he explains. Alec, at first, doesn’t understand. “If I demanded that you kneel to me, you would,” he whispers, horrified, as if he were recounting a story rather than giving an example. “You would have no control over it. You would feel – you wouldn’t know why, or how, but you would do it.”

Alec tries to remember if he felt this way when Magnus told Alec to kiss him. He tries, but can’t remember doing anything he didn’t want. Magnus, oblivious to this, continues. “I’ve heard from many of my – unwilling and accidental victims that – it is – horrifying,” he clears his throat. “They are not in control of their bodies. Even if it is only for five seconds, relinquishing control of your free will, it – it takes a toll,” he clears his throat. “I am careful, then, to give everyone around me a choice. I am careful to let them know that I am not ordering them to do a thing.” He looks into Alec’s eyes pleadingly. “And when we kissed, I – I ordered you to,” he says quietly, and he’s disgusted again. “I’m so sorry, Alexander.”

Alec shakes his head. “You can’t tell me what to do,” he snaps, like he’s snapped to everyone his entire life, like he’s said to Magnus before. Magnus laughs, wetly, mirthlessly.

“I can, and I have,” Magnus bows his head in shame. “I let my feelings for you – cloud my judgment. Blind me. They made me forget – who I am, what I can do.”

Alec focuses on one part of that statement. “You have feelings for me?”

Magnus’s head snaps up, brows furrowed. “You – do you realize what I’m admitting to?” he blinks at him. “And you – you want to know—”

“You didn’t _make_ me kiss you,” Alec tells him, annoyed. “I mean – you told me to, but I did that of my own free will.” He thinks back to it. “I never felt like I lost control of myself. You said, kiss me, and at any point, I could have not.” He looks at Magnus, who looks terrified. “I could have left. I could have said no. But I _didn’t_ ,” he insists. “Because I _wanted_ to.”

Magnus is shaking his head furiously. “You only think you—”

“Oh my God,” Alec looks at the ceiling. Impossible, stupid man. “Magnus, Jesus, did you also force me to have feelings for you?”

Magnus looks puzzled, so Alec grabs for his hand and places it above his racing heart.

“Did you tell my heart to start racing every time you walked into a room?” Magnus stares, blankly, at his hand over Alec’s heart. “Or did you instruct my breath to leave me anytime you were within five feet of me?” he demands. “’Cause show me when you did, and then I’ll believe you. Until then, no,” he makes Magnus look at him. “These feelings are mine. They are mine, and I’m sorry, Magnus,” he frowns. “But you can’t take them from me.”

Magnus is – he looks confused, slightly hopeful, and completely, totally—

“I am so gone on you,” Magnus whispers. “I thought – after this, this _curse_ , I thought I could never – that no one would ever want me. But you – here you are, telling me that this is all what you want, and that when I told you to kiss me—”

“I wanted to,” Alec promises. “Tell me again.”

“Don’t be foolish,” Magnus steps back. “Let’s not tempt fate.”

“Tell me again,” Alec demands.

Magnus sighs, irritably. “Alexander—”

Alec crosses his arms over his chest stubbornly. Magnus makes a noise of contempt.

“You are a thorn in my side sometimes, I swear,” he mutters, rubbing at his temple. “Alexander,” he says, voice firm. “Kiss me.”

Alec waits for the pull. It does not come. He grins. “No,” he says.

Magnus stares at him, shocked. “But how—”

Alec shrugs. “I’ve always been stubborn,” he admits. “Maybe the juice also magnified my incredible ability to refuse authority,” he smiles. “Ask me again.”

This time, Magnus looks amused. “Kiss me.”

“No.” Alec grins. “Again.”

Magnus sighs, fondly. “Kiss me.”

“No. Again.”

“Kiss me.”

“Nope, it’s not happening,” Alec takes Magnus’s hand in his. “Again.”

Magnus looks at him, hopeless, and Alec drowns, drowns, drowns.

“Kiss me.” Magnus shoots.

“Okay,” Alec says, and does so.

Bullseye.

**

Later, when his lips are swollen and his hair is tousled and he’s pretty sure he’s lost a couple of the buttons on his shirt, Magnus tells Alec what happened after he left the room in a panic and frenzy.

He tells him that Jace heard him, when Alec called for him. Found Magnus immediately, because the last thing he heard was Magnus’s name. And Magnus stormed The Institute until he found Alec, and he’s been by his side since.

Alec remains quiet as he tells the tale, unsure of what to think. Magnus says Jace told him Alec begged him to remember. And so he did. They were doing something to him – Alec asks Magnus what it was. Magnus grimaces.

“I’m almost positive it’s what they did to me, so long ago,” he admits. Alec raises an eyebrow. Magnus looks at the floor, ashamed. “Though I did not object to it.”

Alec shakes his head. “What did they do?” he asks again, quietly this time.

Magnus purses his lips. “It won’t do permanent damage,” he admits. “Valentine wasn’t lying when he said that. It’s simply – a remedy,” he settles on. Alec looks on, confused. Magnus laces their fingers together, strokes the back of his hand gently with his thumb. “Insurance,” he explains further. “It’s for him. Don’t you wonder why I haven’t simply used my ability to make him stop all of this?” he asks.

“Well, no,” Alec admits. “Considering I just found out about a half hour ago and we’ve been, ah—” he blushes. “Busy since then.”

Magnus grins. “Magnificent,” he whispers, and Alec looks at him questioningly. “Your blush,” Magnus explains. “I love it. It’s – _mine_. It shows me what you’re feeling, when you’re feeling it, and, most importantly, where,” he says coyly.

Alec shivers. “Keep it in your pants, Bane,” he laughs weakly. Magnus nods.

“Of course.”

Alec pauses.

“But not for long, okay?”

Magnus grins.

“Anything you say, Alexander,” he reaches for the side of Alec’s face, strokes it softly with his thumb. “I will do anything you say.”

Alec clears his throat. “So, you were—”

Magnus nods, takes his hand back. “Right,” his expression is serious once more. “It’s an antidote, of sorts, for Valentine,” he explains. “He injects himself with it and he’s immune to your ability.”

Alec blinks. “How can he be immune to my ability, though?” he asks. “That makes no sense. Would I just – not be able to shoot him every time I aimed at him?”

Magnus shakes his head. “No, I don’t think that’s how it would work,” he muses. “It certainly is strange. He must see something else in you, then,” Magnus looks at Alec. “You are extraordinary. It would not surprise me that apart from your perfect shot and your strong willpower, you’ve managed to magnify another ability.”

Alec thinks. Then freezes. Remembers, in a flash—

 _Blood Brothers_.

“I don’t think he wants to be immune,” Alec whispers. Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Magnus, I think he wants to recreate the bond between Jace and me. He wants—”

But Magnus understands. “The bond between you and Jace. It’s almost psychic.” He nods. “Dangerous, if it were a weapon of war. It makes you both stronger, faster, it—”

“Makes us much more than extraordinary,” he looks at Magnus, horrified. “It makes us the closest thing to the Super Soldier he’s always wanted.”

Magnus looks furious. But Alec doesn’t have time to be angry. Jace, he thinks. He’s going after Jace now. And worse, if he gets to him – they won’t have time to stop him.

“We need to find Jace,” Alec is shaking. Magnus holds him. “We need to find—”

“Alexander,” he says. “Wait. Alexander. Stop it. Do you feel he is in danger?” Alec pauses. Looks for him, closes his eyes and looks for him. Jace is safe. He is safe. He is warm, happy, and—

Alec opens his eyes in a moment. “Oh, no,” he shivers. “He’s with—” Some things. Some things just shouldn’t be shared between them.

Magnus laughs and laughs and laughs. Alec pushes him, and Magnus only laughs harder.

**

And so the plan goes like this:

Keep Jace away from Valentine at all costs. After attacking Alec, he wouldn’t dare try anything on Jace for at least another week, so this is how long they had to put their plan in effect.

Valentine assumed, of course, after seeing the nature of Magnus and Alec’s relationship, that Alec must know about the immunity shots. But he didn’t know – and here was the tricky part—

Bringing Mouse and Raphael into the plan was difficult. They were both blinded by the powers they held because of Valentine, refused to believe he would be anything but kind, would try anything evil. But Alec, always so rigid and silent around them, pleaded for their understanding. He wouldn’t lie about this. Like it or not, they were family now. More family than any of them were with Valentine. They needed each other. Once Valentine was out of the picture, they could truly be free.

Mouse surrendered first. Once he realized Baby Carrot could be in danger, too, he gave up, agreed to start changing the doses of Valentine’s immunity shot with a placebo juice. Raphael, unwilling to let Mouse run into a dangerous situation by himself, was not far behind.

And so for a week, Valentine has unknowingly been taking fake immunity shots, completely unaware that, in that amount of time, the rest of his immunity could comfortably leave his body and allow Magnus the ability to control him once more.

Jace is beside him on the couch on the weekend, so close to the execution of their plan, when he wonders, “Why do you call them Mouse and Carrot, still?”

Alec wonders this, as well. Perhaps he’s become accustomed to them. Perhaps he’s started to view the nicknames as affectionate.

“Simon and Clary,” he tries the names out loud, and they feel strange on his tongue. “Simon and Clary.”

“Yeah?” Simon and Clary both turn to look at Alec, curiously. Alec stares at them.

Yes, they are family, but he supposes you can’t like all your family.

Still, something fond settles on his chest at the sight of them, looking at him expectantly, as if they truly, genuinely cared for what he had to say. He shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he says quietly. Simon and Clary exchange a look, shrug, and continue with their day, oblivious to the weathering change in Alec.

Jace is grinning smugly at him when he looks back at him.

“Aww,” he says, and Alec shoves him.

**

Magnus is lying beside Alec in his bed, and Alec is tracing patterns of nothing in Magnus’s arm. Magnus’s eyes are closed, hands under his head, and he is breathing quietly, peacefully.

Alec presses a kiss to Magnus’s shoulder, and Magnus smiles. “What do you need from me, Alexander?”

Alec straddles Magnus’s lap then, and Magnus is suddenly wide awake, hands resting on Alec’s hips. “I need you to promise me you’ll be careful tomorrow,” Alec pleads, kissing Magnus’s lips softly. “That you won’t let him – that I won’t lose you,” he pauses. “And you won’t look at me any differently, no matter what happens.”

Magnus looks at him now, open, like Alec is something more than a mere mortal. He smiles that brilliant, private smile, _Alec’s_ smile, and he raises an eyebrow teasingly. “And why should I do that?” His voice is playful. Coy.

Alec kisses him. And kisses him. Strokes him through the bed sheets and kisses him, kisses him.

When Alec pulls back for breath, Magnus is smiling. “A valid argument,” he agrees, and then he rolls Alec onto his back and the night is long and theirs alone.

**

Izzy greets him at the door of The Institute. Alec pulls her into a tight hug. Isabelle counts softly to five, a habit of hers since she was young, something she’s always done when she’s nervous. Five seconds of courage, Alec used to tell her. Count to five. Five seconds of courage, and you’ll have courage to last you for a lifetime.

“I am so proud of you,” she tells him, and Alec can’t fathom why. He plans to kill a man today. He tells her as much and Izzy shakes her head.

“It takes a brave man to do the hardest things for the greater good,” she tells him. “You, big brother, are going to be a hero.”

He looks at Magnus.

“I don’t want to be a hero,” he admits. “I just want to be.”

**

Valentine enters the practice room, just as expected.

“Apollo,” he greets Alec, and his blood runs cold.

He remembers, he remembers.

And he does not forgive.

Alec glances at Valentine, offers him a fake smile. “Valentine,” he greets, as he normally would. “Are you well?”

“Spectacular,” he boasts. “I can almost feel the world changing. Can’t you?” Yes, Alec doesn’t say. And it will be a better one once you’re not in it. “It’s at my feet now, Apollo. Can you see it? It’s at my feet.”

Alec grinds his teeth.

Magnus walks in behind Valentine. “Ah, Valentine,” he says, casual as ever. “There you are. I’ve been meaning to have a chat.”

Valentine looks at Magnus, and, to Alec’s disgust, the look is almost fond. “Yes, my darling Magnus, and what is it that you need from me?”

Magnus looks at him evenly, face betraying no emotion. “I need you to explain to me why you lay a hand on Alexander,” he says, voice low, dangerous. Valentine has the audacity to look confused for a moment, before surrendering.

“He is part of the greater picture,” Valentine informs him. “He will make me a God.”

Magnus’s jaw locks. His ability. It’s working. He’s responding, though it’s obvious Valentine doesn’t want to. Still, he’s walking away, knowing what’s happening. Realizing it, as Alec holds his bow and arrow taut against him, following Valentine’s every step. Valentine turns, as if to flee.

“Stop,” Magnus orders, and Valentine does. He’s shaking – not in fear, but in anger.

“You have betrayed me,” Valentine spits. “This is your doing, Magnus Bane?”

Magnus looks at him. “Haven’t you heard that even Gods fall, Valentine?” he asks. Valentine looks at Magnus and laughs, mockingly.

“Not at the hands of men.”

“Even at the hands of men,” Magnus reminds him. “Achilles, for one,” he reminds him. “For his beloved.” Magnus glances at Alec, and Alec knows it’s probably not the time to feel extremely flattered or ridiculously fond, but he does and he is. Magnus looks back at Valentine. “The minute you laid your filthy hands on Alexander, I knew you wouldn’t live for much longer.”

Valentine looks at Alec, pleadingly. “You wouldn’t kill me,” he urges. “You’re just a boy. You wouldn’t kill me.”

He glances at Magnus. Thinks of everything Valentine has put him through, thinks of the life Magnus must have once had – of how worthless he feels every time he speaks, how careful he has to be in the phrasing of his words. Alec thinks about how Magnus hates Valentine, and feels that Valentine is the culprit who took his life from him, and he thinks of how many innocents Valentine has killed in the name of “science”.

He thinks of Izzy, of Jace, of Clary and Simon, of Raphael.

He thinks of Magnus, the sun, the stars, the moon, the reason for which Magnus broke all of the rules and let go of the control he sought after so badly and let himself feel.

And he says, “I would, though,” and he smiles, bitterly, and he aims.

And he shoots.

Bullseye.

**

In the end, it’s anticlimactic.

They deal with the aftermath the way any group of illegal science experiments would – they hide everything. No one will be looking for Valentine. Of that, they’ve made sure.

Jace takes Clary by the hand and comforts her, takes her somewhere private to explain everything. Izzy does the same with Meliorn. Magnus talks comfortingly to the rest of the group, people Alec’s only known fleetingly, but Magnus has been with for a very long time. Simon is quiet and solemn, and Raphael stands next to him, looking far taller than he is. He’ll glare at anyone who will try to come near Simon at the moment, and no one will take his threat lightly.

Alec wonders about them. Once, Magnus told him not to try to make sense of them.

But he thinks he understands.

Later, much, much, later, when they’re in the quiet of Alec’s apartment alone, Magnus will take his hand and kiss the back of it. Alec blushes, feeling stupid and charmed, but the affection is not unwelcome.

He’ll remember he’s still a college student, and he’s probably failing all of his classes. He’ll remember Lydia, the girl he was so sure he was in love with before being presented with love, gift wrapped and with a bow. He’ll remember his parents and his little brother and he’ll remember that just because he is free of Valentine, he is not free of the responsibilities he’s been ignoring for so long in a childish attempt to save the world.

But that will be later. For now, he looks at Magnus and Magnus looks back. Alec doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the way Magnus looks at him, like he’s everything he’s been waiting for for years and years and years. And Alec looks at him right back, like he’s the rainfall after a drought.

He thinks, _Morning Man_ , and how appropriate. Because looking at Magnus is always like looking at the rising sun, and the anticipation of something new every single day, with a sidelined routine, just for good measure.

Magnus keeps his promise. He’s alive and he doesn’t look at Alec any differently. Alec is grateful.

Later, the aftermath of their abilities. Later, the fear of what they might become.

But for now—

“Kiss me,” Magnus whispers, pressing his forehead to Alec’s.

And Alec, of his own free will, does.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://www.westiris.tumblr.com) if you're interested we can hang


End file.
